Advanced Maternal Age & Black Birth
Advanced maternal age and geriatric pregnancy are terms used for identifying women who are over age 35 and pregnant. These terms are often met with a grimace and an eye roll. According to the N.Y. Times the average age of a woman in New York becoming pregnant is between 31-32 years old.
A few weeks ago, I got a call from an acquaintance, Liza. We have known one another for well over a decade; I’ve been invited to her home for celebrations with her family. Liza is a mother of two and grandmother of three. During our call, Liza and I had a chance to catch up on events in our lives: she had retired after 35 years on her job and I announced that my mom had passed away six months ago.
Liza asked about my work, I happily informed her I was still continuing my work as a birth doula as well as working on maternal justice.
“Well, you know I un-friended you on Facebook.”
“Oh really, I hadn’t noticed. I wondered why I didn't see any of your posts. I replied. I also realized that I didn't see any posts from her daughter or granddaughter whom I am friends with as well.
“Yeah, you know, I sent you a private message about your posts.” States Liza.
“It must have been when my mother passed and I missed it. I’m sorry, what did you say?” I asked.
“Well, I unfriended you because you are always talking about birth and doula stuff. All that doesn't relate to my friends or me. We are all in our 60’s or older and retired. We don't want to hear about all that baby stuff! You really should have a separate page for that!” Liza explains.
I was struck silent. I have a separate page for my business, Bold Doula. On my personal page I do talk about birth and doulas a lot. I am a proud Black doula called
to do this work since 2014. In five years my work has become a small business. It’s all I do. As a Black woman, I am very aware of the Black maternal disparities in the United States. This has become my life’s work to contribute to change and to empower Black families in birth and breastfeeding.
Liza is eight years older that me with two grown children whom both are of reproductive age. Liza’s three grandchildren will hopefully someday procreate.
Liza is Black, so are her children and grandchildren. We know social status; economics, education, marital status and medical providers are all irreverent to the Black woman/man and the Black birth when it comes to disparities. I am disappointed that Liza and her friends believe they have ‘aged out’ of Black Maternal Health Awareness. It was only about 65 years ago the United States school system became integrated to include Blacks. Liza’s avoidance and apathy doesn't reflect our ancestors whom worked collectively regardless of age or location when it came to racism and disparities.
I don't know Liza’s birth stories for herself or her children. I don't know if she’s considered her grandchildren to be excluded from Black maternal disparities because of their affluence. I do wonder how many other Blacks feel the same as Liza? I wonder how many other ‘friends’ on Facebook have ‘silenced’ me because they too share Liza’s sentiment?
To hell with that.
Black maternal health disparities affect and impacts Black people as a diaspora. Its traumatic outcomes are now on epigenetic levels that span across the education system, mental health, and prison system. It is a matter of life and death. It is the responsibility and accountability of all Black people of the world of all ages to come together and work to destroy this disparity. There is no aging out. The Black race is facing decimation through birth. Black women are avoiding birth because of racism.
Imagine if Black people stopped procreating? The contributions made by Blacks in America and the world is in the hundreds of thousands. Imagine all of them gone.
I don’t know if Liza has given any thought to her grandchildren and how they will experience birth. I hope they remember me. Black lives matter. Black birth is not so easily avoided as an unfriend button.
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/08/04/upshot/up-birth-age-gap.html
Blog Contributor by NBDA Member Denise Bolds, MSW, CD
Bold Doula Services New York, NY . Catch her Blog Talk Radio here
