To Doula or Not To Doula: That is the Question
Doula – A woman employed to provide guidance and support to a pregnant woman before, during and after labor.
My reasons for desiring a doula:
Emotional Support
Help with nutritional & physical guidance
Holistic childbirth classes
Support for my wife
& a WHOLE heap of other reasons
Let me just say once I found out about doulas and the beauty of what they do for pregnant women. I just KNEW I would have one for my birth! The thought of having another woman (other than my partner) to help me make the spiritual and physical transition into Motherhood was simply awe-inspiring and beautiful to me. To have a person there to hold your hand, show you the correct way to breath, speak affirmations to you, tell you that you got this when you’re in the twelfth hour and ready to tap the HELL OUT! This was my first and only pregnancy so I had absolutely no clue as what to expect. I needed my doula to be dependable, trust worthy and honest. I needed someone to be there emotionally, physically, mentally and even spiritually. I mean by all accounts becoming a Mother in my eyes is a spiritual journey like non other.
Now let me go back…. About six years ago to be exact when I met the woman that would become my doula. I met her at a crochet event my friend held at her office (this was also the first time I’d even heard about a doula.) I liked her energy, her spirit was great and her credentials were A – 1!! So immediately I told her she would be my doula once I was married and pregnant.
Fast forward to February 2018 we started trying to conceive… I didn’t call any other doulas.. Didn’t even attempt to try because I just KNEW she was it. There was another lady that I had in mind to be my doula but since she’d stopped being hands on with participating in births and started training others. I decided to not even reach out & ask about her services. (Hey.. I don’t like rejection… lol)
I knew for my first pregnancy and birth I only wanted the best of the best. So I just stuck with my original choice.
My experience was NOT AT ALL what I expected it to be. I don’t even have the emotional strength to type it all out right now.. Maybe one day I will… I’m not sure if I expected too much then ended up with disappointment because my expectations were not met. I’m not sure if she just wasn’t shit and should retire from the birthing business all together. I mean we all get burnt out and have to do career changes in our lives. I imagine being a doula isn’t any different…
HONEY… When they say hindsight is 20/20… Believe in that wholehearted..
If I could do it all over again I would definitely choose another person and I would keep my options open.. but you live and you learn… If I EVER decide to expand my uterus again with the gift of life. I will do things differently, do more research and have a checklist such as:
Ask for references from previous clients.
Schedule more then one meeting with prospective doulas before making a firm decision.
Give myself more time to think it over.
Make sure the interviewing doula is not pregnant with her own child and if she is pregnant… RUNNNNNN
Go to http:// http://www.blackdoulas.org for a comprehensive list of doulas in my area.
That’s my short version but those are the most important things that I can think of right now.
All in all having a doula for pregnancy (before, after and during) is a beautiful thing if you have the right one. If you’re pregnant: Did you have a doula, please share your experience I’d love to hear about it and discuss it.
As always thanks for reading!
Lisa Rene’e
